...Accessing Email Server
Darling, I'm afraid I can't make it back this weekend for Nina's birthday. There's a conference on Emerging Markets I've got to be at, I'm one of the main speakers, there's no way I can get out of it. It's really dull stuff, basically all just in a big grey office, so nowhere exciting to bring you to. I'll see you in a week though, sweetie, give Nina my love.
I hunger for your hot, sweaty body. Press those glistening pecs against my chest, rub me in coconut oil and spank me with a rubber chicken! Drown me in your lust! Meet me at 49 Fox Street this weekend, bring the toys, and fill me with your passions as you have so many times before!
A new one has already been sent to your printer.
- Caldwell, Maintenance
> From: email@example.com
> Can't find my badge again. You know what to do.
> - M. Mulhaney
> Vice President, Emerging Markets
Subject: Re: Pneumatic tube system operational!
We’ve had some overheating issues as a result of making this tube ‘operational’ - they were inadvertently sending hot air down to the basement and people there were sweating like pigs and passing out. We’ve installed the manual extraction pump to prevent that which has to be always left on as a result.
As a happy side effect, this pump will also extract any hazardous materials, toxic gases etc that make their way down to the basement levels by accident.
We had to turn it off for a brief period recently though - there was a flooding in the gym changing rooms and the manual extraction pump started sending the excess sewage up through the building. If it happens again, I'll turn it off again.
Either way it seems to be under control now. Would be grand though if next time Maintenance is consulted before an expensive vanity project like this is undergone.
> From: firstname.lastname@example.org
> Subject: Pneumatic tube system operational!
>As part of our recent refurbishment of the building, we uncovered a legacy pneumatic tube system that >was used back in the building in the 1950s, in the days before email. This was used to send messages >around the building using a vacuum system, state-of-the-art for its time!
>In order to help capture the exciting spirit of that time, we’ve refurbished the tube system so that it >is now fully functional and operational! Of course, to prevent employee misuse, we’ve locked the tubes >so you can not send anything down them and turned the pumps needed for them as a default to ‘off’.