...Accessing Email Server

From: k.titterhill@badcorporate.com

To: maintenance@badcorporate.com

Maintenance,

Fix your machines! The floor 88 generator is overheating again and our filozoa samples are cooking in their vats! Turn the generator off for a few hours, will you?

K. Titterhill

Floor 88 Filozoa Team

---

From: maintenance@badcorporate.com

To: m.mulhaney@badcorporate.com

Vice President,

Not a problem. I'll send one straight up to our office printer.

- Caldwell, Maintenance

> From: m.mulhaney@badcorporate.com

> To: maintenance@badcorporate.com

> Caldwell,

>

> Lost my ID badge. Can you send me up another one?

>

> - M. Mulhaney

> Vice President, Emerging Markets

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From: maintenance@badcorporate.com

To: j.bozo@badcorporate.com

Sir,

Of course I can. I'll have another printed up for you via your office printer.

- Caldwell, Maintenance

> From: j.bozo@badcorporate.com

> To: maintenance@badcorporate.com

> Caldwell,

>

> Can't find my ID badge, don't want to get locked in the vault by accident. Can you do a new one?

>

> - J. Bozo

> CEO

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DRAFT EMAIL, NOT YET SENT

From: maintenance@badcorporate.com

To: m.mulhaney@badcorporate.com

Mulhaney, you colossal twerp, stop leaving your ID badge at your lover's house whenever you have to run out without your pants. You are a moron and I hate you and I am sick and tired of printing out new badges for you and all the execs!!!

> From: m.mulhaney@badcorporate.com

> To: maintenance@badcorporate.com

> Caldwell,

>

> Can't find my badge again. You know what to do.

>

> - M. Mulhaney

> Vice President, Emerging Markets

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From: maintenance@badcorporate.com

To: m.mulhaney@badcorporate.com

Vice President,

A new one has already been sent to your printer.

- Caldwell, Maintenance

> From: m.mulhaney@badcorporate.com

> To: maintenance@badcorporate.com

> Caldwell,

>

> Can't find my badge again. You know what to do.

>

> - M. Mulhaney

> Vice President, Emerging Markets

---

To: m.mulhaney@badcorporate.com

From: maintenance@badcorporate.com

Subject: Re: Pneumatic tube system operational!


 

We’ve had some overheating issues as a result of making this tube ‘operational’ - they were inadvertently sending hot air down to the basement and people there were sweating like pigs and passing out. We’ve installed the manual extraction pump to prevent that which has to be always left on as a result.

As a happy side effect, this pump will also extract any hazardous materials, toxic gases etc that make their way down to the basement levels by accident.

 

We had to turn it off for a brief period recently though - there was a flooding in the gym changing rooms and the manual extraction pump started sending the excess sewage up through the building. If it happens again, I'll turn it off again.

Either way it seems to be under control now. Would be grand though if next time Maintenance is consulted before an expensive vanity project like this is undergone.

 

- Caldwell

 

_________________

 

> To: 

> From: news@badcorp.com

> Subject: Pneumatic tube system operational!

>
>

>As part of our recent refurbishment of the building, we uncovered a legacy pneumatic tube system that >was used back in the building in the 1950s, in the days before email. This was used to send messages >around the building using a vacuum system, state-of-the-art for its time!

>

>In order to help capture the exciting spirit of that time, we’ve refurbished the tube system so that it >is now fully functional and operational! Of course, to prevent employee misuse, we’ve locked the tubes >so you can not send anything down them and turned the pumps needed for them as a default to ‘off’.

Confused? Perhaps the Agency can shed some light on the matter.