...Accessing Email Server

From: security@badcorporate.com

To: t.jacobs@badcorporate.com; q.furrows@badcorporate.com; t.walker@badcorporate.com; q.falmouth@...

All Security Team Members,

Please refer to the updated Security Protocols regarding action in the event of various emergencies.

Floor 88 Detachment - Please be aware that as per standing orders from the CEO, you are not to leave your post unless you receive a direct order from the CEO, VP or an all-hands emergency is called.

Additionally, keep an eye out for anyone matching the attached photograph. We are anticipating a possible infiltration by an individual codenamed 'AGENT VENTURE'. If you see this person, detain them immediately and have them sent down to floor B3 for processing.

- T. Cohen

Chief of Security

ATTACHMENT UNAVAILABLE

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From: security@badcorporate.com

To: j.bozo@badcorporate.com

Instructions for running the "Mecha-Shark" - Killbot 9000 Mk. 2 Model 1500

Boss,

 

We have completed installation the Killbot 9000 Mk. 2 Model 1500 (“The Mecha-shark”) that Dr. R. Nick set up for us. Early test runs were less successful than intended. I have dealt with the consequences - no-one will miss those Delivery Drivers. If they do, it was a tragic accident.

That said, I had to speak to the good doctor a few times in order to reset the Mecha-Shark. As a result we’ve made the decision that we will both get sent the reset codes from now on (the system generates a unique one for each subsequent reset rather than one we can use all the time).

The Mecha-Shark cannot be disabled electronically - we need fear no hacker! Only a verbal command from myself or Dr Nick can turn it off.

 

All of the creases have been ironed out of the system now. The Mecha-Shark is online.

 

If you have any questions please let me know,

Cohen

 

P.S. If there is an emergency in which I cannot be reached, Dr. Nick can assist you as well - if you can drag them away from those blasted bears they love so much!

Confused? Perhaps the Agency can shed some light on the matter.